I am surrounded by people. Yet, I often experience a profound sense of loneliness. I feel fundamentally misunderstood. It feels like being an alien in human skin. No one truly sees the real me. Everyone perceives only the carefully constructed facade. This feeling stems from the fear of vulnerability, the reluctance to share my more […]
I have a strong wish for control. I feel a need to impose order on the perceived chaos of my internal and external world. This manifests in various ways, from meticulously planning my days to obsessively organizing my surroundings. It’s an attempt to create a sense of predictability. I try to manage the anxiety that […]
There’s a strange comfort in the familiar rut. The predictable patterns and routines define my daily life. These patterns are less than ideal. They contribute to my feelings of stagnation and discontent. Yet, they offer a sense of security and predictability that change often lacks. Change, even positive change, can feel threatening. It disrupts the […]
Vulnerability. It’s a word that sends a shiver of discomfort down my spine. The idea of truly exposing my authentic self, with all its flaws, insecurities, and messy emotions, feels terrifying. It’s like standing naked in front of a crowd, acutely aware of every imperfection, every perceived weakness. The fear stems from a deep-seated wish […]
While I’ve painted a rather bleak picture so far (my apologies, again), it’s not all doom and gloom. Moments of unexpected joy among the anxieties and self-criticism. These are fleeting glimmers of light that pierce through the darkness. These moments are often small, seemingly insignificant, but they carry a disproportionate amount of weight. The perfect […]
There’s often a nagging feeling lurking beneath the surface, despite any outward appearances of competence or achievement. It is the persistent belief that I’m a fraud. I feel like I’m somehow faking it, and that the inevitable exposure is just around the corner. This, my friends, is the delightful phenomenon known as impostor syndrome. It’s […]
My relationship with my body is… complicated. It’s a constant state of negotiation, a fluctuating spectrum that ranges from grudging acceptance to outright hostility. It’s the vessel that carries me through the world. It is the physical manifestation of my being. Yet, it often feels like a separate entity. It is a source of both […]
A significant part of my inner world remains carefully guarded. It consists of thoughts, feelings, and opinions that I keep locked away. They are unspoken and often unacknowledged, even to myself. This isn’t necessarily about malicious secrets or grand deceptions. It’s more about the accumulation of anxieties, insecurities, and uncomfortable truths that feel too risky, […]
The past, for me, isn’t a neatly bound book with closed chapters. It’s more like a persistent echo. It’s a collection of “what ifs” and “if onlys.” These thoughts occasionally resurface to haunt me. The ghosts of regret linger. I wish I had done some things differently. I regret the opportunities I let slip away. […]
My internal landscape is riddled with “shoulds.” A relentless chorus of expectations surrounds me. Some are self-imposed, while others are whispered by society, family, or the relentless highlight reel of social media. These dictates tell me how I “should” be living my life. They instruct how I “should” be feeling and what I “should” be […]
Off Kilter 